I am ashamed to say that I just considered it a pay for play proposition. I got what I wanted and so did he.That night I gave the first and last cock sucking of my life. I was a lesbian. I knew that from the time I was sixteen. But I did as he wished and I drank all of his cum, gagging and retching all the time. And then I let him fuck me. That was also the only time a man had been in my pussy. I hated him from that time forward, but I told no one about it. I was ashamed of my weakness.While I was at college it was policy that each student had a different roommate each year. I was glad to stay in the dormitories for four years, with a different girl each year. And each of them was lots of fun. Oh, they weren't all lesbians like me, but they all loved sex, and we had a great deal of lusty nights together.After college I moved back into my parents' home. I avoided my father and felt a great deal of sorrow for my mother. She had to live with him as his wife. It must have been horrid for. I so desperately wanted to see him and so dreaded it that I was frozen in place for a few seconds. Finally, I opened the door and he just swept me into his arms and hugged me. All the fear melted away and I just wanted to stay in that embrace forever.He came in and we made chitchat while I fixed some tea. He asked if I was okay about fifty times and I finally pulled the bandage away from my neck and showed him. I think he almost threw up. I know I did the first time I looked at it in a mirror. And, little bitch that I am, I was thinking that if he was that concerned, why didn’t he come and visit me in the hospital? At the same time, I was still scared of the lecture he’d give me about deceiving him and relationships built on trust. The question—or accusation—never came.The longer it went, the more guilty I felt and then I got really irritated with the guy because he should have been criticizing me. I was sitting there getting more and more upset with him just because he wasn’t.
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